jamie_dakin: (Default)
[personal profile] jamie_dakin
Title: Gymnopedie No.1
Author: [livejournal.com profile] leli_008
Rating: R for m/m, mature themes and angst
Pairing: Frasier/Niles (oh shut up already...)
Summary:Sometimes life isn't perfect. Sometimes it doesn't need to be. Frasier thinks about his relationship with Niles. Frasier/Niles. WARNING - contains slash and mature themes.



Rating: R for mature themes

WARNING!!! This F-I-C-T-I-O-N-A-L story contains non-graphic adult themes, if you aren’t supposed to be here or don’t want to be here then by all means, shoo.

Distribution: by all means, if you’re crazy enough to want this than I want you to have it. Just drop me a line, let me know where it is so I can come visit.

A/N: Ahem. Well, let me begin by saying that I didn’t start out with the intention of turning this into a, well, a slash story.
And yes, I know, not only is it slash, it’s incest slash.
I mean absolutely no harm whatsoever. And no, I’m not some fetish crazy sicko.
I in no way condone incest, be it consensual or otherwise.
It’s FICTION people, you all know that don’t you?
To be honest, I think that their abuse is treated far too lightly on the show.
Sure, it’s a comedy, but there’s room for seriousness at times.
This is… I’m not sure what it is.
A 1st person POV angsty vignette, but then again, what did you expect from me?

Feedback, oh glorious feedback... ambrosia of the god...

Disclaimer: Sure as hell ain’t mine. And even if they were, I’m pretty sure that some nice official from the character rights center would have taken them away by now.

“Gymnopedie No. 1” belongs to the ever brilliant “Sky”.

Listen to it, do yourselves a favor and listen to it.











I have often wondered throughout my career about the ethics of it all.

How can I presume to diagnose and heal the minds of others when I myself am ill?

Had I arrived at one of my own sessions, called into my own show… would I not have thought myself to be disturbed? Sick?

Did a wise man not once phrase “And the blind leadth the blind”?

It is a federal offense, a social malignancy around the globe.

As ancient as the original sin, punishable by the laws of all societies.

And yet it has never truly felt wrong.

As things would have it, it is the only constant in my life that has ever felt right, save for Fredrick.

Perhaps it’s what drew the both of us to become psychiatrists.

Perhaps it’s what will forever prevent us from forming stable, adult relationships.

It would be accurate to assume so, we both married during my years in Boston, finally separated.

Though I wonder about him now.

I am no longer certain that his schoolboy infatuation with Daphne is simply that anymore. He’s shown a remarkable amount of restraint around her lately, but I suspect that one day they will end up together.

I suspect, that he really does love her.

But just as he loved Maris and I Lilith, we have never ceased to love each other.

That’s inaccurate, or at least it sounds inaccurate.

Love each other.

It’s not truly a romantic love, I did not court him or woo him.

We have never been brave enough to define our… relationship.

I think he tried to once, before I left for Boston, but I was too afraid. I needed to go there knowing that back here everything is the same. In retrospect I suppose I was afraid of “loosing” him.

I don’t recall how it started even.

Perhaps I have repressed it.

It had much to do with our childhood abuse at school. Oh, we may laugh about it now, but I assure you, it was very serious when he used to come home bleeding.

I remember in particular one day, he had arrived home before me.

I walked in, a disheveled mess.

Idiot that I was, I had attempted to resist my assailants.

A mistake.

I slammed my bedroom door and sank down against the wall, tears already brimming. The knock came a few moments later.

Predictable as a Swiss watch, my brother.

“Frasier?” His voice had been soft, desperate perhaps.

“Leave me be Niles.”

He came in anyway, always did.

Warm washcloth in hand.

I once tried to count how many times that scenario had repeated itself and failed miserably. Too many times I suppose.

He kneeled before me, gently cleaning the scrape on my cheek. From being thrown onto the cold cement of the courtyard.

I watched him as he worked, could feel the heat in his body rise as his anger grew.

As the shame grew in mine.

I am the eldest.

The strong one.

Both physically and chronologically.

But it is he who surpasses what little strength that I have mentally.

It is he who wrapped me up in his arms, though I resisted at first.

And I surrendered to him like I always did, grasped his dress shirt; seeking his warmth and protection.

We are alone in the house today, no one will disturb us in our haven.

For he is my haven, from the cruelty of adolescence.

“I… I tried to…” but it hurts to speak.

Hurts to look in his eyes. To see what lies in them. So I shut my own.

When we were little he used to kiss my cheek to make me stop crying; so much innocence and love.

He used the same method that day, though his kisses were far less innocent, and yet they still served to pacify me.

His warmth and taste acting as a tranquilizer.

He had often saved me from myself.

At first I had hated myself so for needing it, for needing him.

But needs, I later learned, had a will of their own.



Dad’s at Sherry’s.

Daphne is at her boyfriend’s.

And Niles is here.

We haven’t slept in the same bed since I came home from Boston.

He sleeps like an angel. I want to laugh at the cliché but it’s quite true.


His insecurities, newly awakened by the impending divorce, finally gone from his mind.

That’s what brought him here in the first place.

Drunk.

And spouting nonsense about worthlessness and being a social pariah.

And when Niles gets really drunk, the public schoolboy in him wakes up.

“After meticulous research and testing, I have come to the conclusion that I, am simply unfuckable.”

A sober Niles would have blushed at that word, and certainly would not have made a grammatical error.


Nothing I said seemed to help, and I had had enough of his misery.

So I kissed him.

He tasted of liquor, but his lips were still softer than any girls ever were.

A rational man would have stopped at that, but he persisted.

I never could say no to him.

I’ve never seen him quite so decisive before. I knew him well enough, knew that he needed to feel loved.

I held him as he lost control, saw the demons float away as finally let go.

He lays sprawled across my body now, I sigh and move to stroke his hair.

He mumbles something unintelligible and shivers. I pull the blankets tighter around us and join him in his slumber. At least for now, complete.

___________________________________________________________________





Finite.

Yea, yea, I know.

No flames please, just constructive criticism.

Remember that nobody forced you to read this and it was appropriately labeled with warnings.



“Eat, drink, read slash and be merry for tomorrow You-Know-Who might kill us all.”

Date: 2004-05-27 08:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dirty-baka.livejournal.com
Usually I don't touch incest with a ten foot pole, but even I am swindled by the thought of a Fraiser Slash fic. And atlast.

Well written, Explicably In Character. Not bad at all.

Date: 2004-05-28 03:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] leetal.livejournal.com
This is sweet :)

I like your attention to detail and character, just for instance the mention of Frederic.

I was gonna say I would have written out that mention of Niles trying to define the relationship, but having read the whole fic I think it could have ruined its balance.

Go you! :)

Now write Martin! *eg*
(well, I'd like to read it, and at least two episodes come to mind in which he was thought to be gay, once with Niles and once with Duke).

Date: 2004-05-28 06:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jamie-dakin.livejournal.com
Gah!
You mean.... you mean you saw the Niles thing too?
OMG, will you marry me?

Date: 2004-05-28 07:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] leetal.livejournal.com
Oh, Niles is very gay... it's hard not to notice.
And I don't see a reason to impose moral values of "the way things should be" on a poor character who obviously feels differently from said way. Very 19th century.

OMG, will you marry me?

Hmm, will you write that in a form of a haiku?
;)

{hugs}

Date: 2004-05-28 08:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jamie-dakin.livejournal.com
Hmm... this totally reminds me of about a year ago when I saw Indiana Jones for the first time, the one with his father where they're searching for the Holy Grail and I kept thinking to myself - ugh, so-fucking-slashy... and of course I thought that no one would ever dream of writing it and then I finally found this insanely well written rather longish piece that didn't apologize for the father/son aspect and was just... just damn slashy good.
Boo for social conformity...
which is why I love Weasleycest so very much, it's just so interesting to explore those relationships...

p.s. I suck at haiku's... how about I bribe you with endless promises of mindblowing sex and maybe some good chocolate?

Date: 2004-05-28 11:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] leetal.livejournal.com
I don't know that part of indiana Jones, but I'd call slash wherever I see it. I don't see why not. And I don't think people should apologize for saying what they see (or for imagining something of their own and writing wonderfully unlikely fic, just the same).
I'm protective of less-mainstream fic, can you tell? ;)
I once actually opened a list for fic I didn't even like myself, cause it was being censored on other lists...
I grrr at censorship *glares dangerously* *laughs at self* :)

Cest can be really interesting, as cest (rather than as any other fic), when writers manage to peal off their stereotypes and assumptions and find something realistic in it, something that only belongs to those specific, developed characters. Most of what I've read was either apologetic or villainize one or both of the characters. I don't see the point in that. Give me real characters rather than righteous morals and empty angst, you know? And everyone can calm down - if I read a fictional work in which someone goes around raping people, it won't immediately make me go around raping people. I *am* still capable of individual thought.
But that's just me.
*eg*

*
Hmm, chocolate, you say? ;)

Date: 2004-05-29 12:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ghostgecko.livejournal.com
I and Dr Worm (http://:www.livejounral.com/users/drworm) write incest slash for Back to the Future and it's disheartening how many people flame without even reading the damn thing. I mean, it's fine if you disapprove and don't want to read, but to condemn without even reading it . . . wrong. Idiotic.

Date: 2004-05-29 12:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] leetal.livejournal.com
Exactly!

*hug*
I hope you don't let bigots who are working their hysteria out by yelling at you discourage you. It's *fiction*, and no one has to read it.

Date: 2004-05-29 12:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ghostgecko.livejournal.com
Heh, it would take a straightjacket to stop me from writing George/Marty. But yeah . . .I have no problems with someone reading and disliking. It's the knee-jerk condemnation that appalls me.

Date: 2004-05-29 05:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jamie-dakin.livejournal.com
OMG, George/Marty was such an obsession for me a while back.
I mean seriously, it's just one of those pairings where there are simply no questions. It's just good.
sigh... I love talented people who can think outside the box.
:)

Date: 2004-05-30 03:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ghostgecko.livejournal.com
Dude! That's great!
See, that's how I met Dr Worm . . . I never knew anyone else on the planet had a thing for Geirge/Marty til I read her fic (which far surpass mine) . . . and she inspired me to write my weirdass mental bedtime stories and "share" them with other poor unsuspecting folks. I've met a few other people who are deeply into the pairing. We ought to start a club or something heheheheheh. I was joking: The Society for the Advancement of Gay Time-Traveling Incest Porn.

Date: 2004-05-28 11:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ghostgecko.livejournal.com
O, glory glory glory!
It's funny, I've been grooving on Niles & Frasier (It's practically twincest, isn't it?) for a while and yet never written anything . . . never knew *what*, ah, and Now I don't have to. Yay!
Seriously, I liked this. The telegraphic break-up of the sentences was very effective, gave the impression of someone thinking very slowly and deliberatly, trying to convince himself of something (the rightnes of what he's done) by laying out the arguements in a neat, logical order.

Date: 2004-06-12 12:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nerdcakes.livejournal.com
Dude! I saw the Frasier/Niles header and I was all "so... very... wrong..." But then I thought, hey, I've written Kelsey Grammar/David Hyde Pierce, who am I to judge? So I decided to click the link.

Am so glad I did.

Incest is one of those things that squicks me horrendously but - but it's actually really  really good! And scarily in-character. And did Isay good? I meant awesome.

Also, this?

“After meticulous research and testing, I have come to the conclusion that I, am simply unfuckable.”

Is pure drunken!Niles. I love you if only for that one line.

Date: 2004-06-30 12:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fearless-jones.livejournal.com
Wow. This is a great, really well written story. Thanks for writing!

Mmm

Date: 2004-07-12 05:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] afullmargin.livejournal.com
I've read cest stuff before, usually only twins... but for them, I'll read. :)

And I'm glad! Very nice, very... real. For lack of better words. I'd love to see it from Niles' perspective.

Date: 2004-10-01 03:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dead-new-user.livejournal.com
I've quit seen the series ages ago (before Dafne and Niles got together), but when I did, I though the same._and told my sister and she call me sick *Dammedhomophobicfamily*_
So in character! And Friser is a tough coockie, so be proud, love.
You should write a series.Really. More.

Profile

jamie_dakin: (Default)
jamie_dakin

November 2009

S M T W T F S
1234567
89101112 1314
15161718192021
22232425262728
2930     

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Sep. 26th, 2017 02:02 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios